This was another close one. In order to pick a winner, I had to go back and have a look at the contest question. I specifically asked for ONE Irregular and ONE gift. In other words, the winning entry could only have one of each. And that winner is . . . BeAmbidextrous!
I'd ask Oona for a copy (in English of course) of the guidebook or rulebook she gives to her employees.
As her employees paint toes and file nails they listen for secrets, but how do they know what's important or what isn't?
Sure, Ms. Zebra stripe gold necklace might say her husband works with a man who knows that the alfalfa company called HrsesRK is going to be the next big thing but how do you know if she is bragging or telling the truth?
How do you know which gossip could equal cold hard cash and what gossip is just gossip?
Does it have to do with the tone of voice?
Do really rich people not wear much jewelry at all?
Does blue nail polish mean a compulsive liar and green mean gullible?
Yes, knowing Oona's secrets could take me far in life.
It was that last line that really got me. I agree completely! Congrats, BeAmbidextrous! Send your address to firstname.lastname@example.org (BTW, I fixed a few typos in your entry. Hope you don't mind.)
Other entries that really made me laugh . . .
Irregular Kiki's giant squid costume.
Sunbear's cherry blintzes.
And though it didn't make me laugh, Selene's stolen art heist might have won--had it not involved more than one Irregular. (Great idea, though, Selene!)