Wednesday, January 16, 2013

GIVEAWAY!! How to Lead a Life of Crime!!

Before we begin, a quick word. I'm not a big believer in telling young people what they can or can't read. When I was growing up, my parents never declared any books "off-limits." (They didn't even stop me from reading The Amityville Horror when I was seven. No wonder I'm a little weird.)

But I do not enjoy receiving angry emails from parents. And I think it's possible that there are parents out there who would not want their young teens reading How to Lead a Life of Crime. Parts of the book are quite violent, and there's certainly no shortage of crude language.

So this contest (and all other How to Lead a Life of Crime giveaways) is open to readers 16+. Of course, if you're under 16 but your parents are the super-cool sort who are willing to email an author so you can get a free naughty book, I'll be happy to send one your way.

Whew. Glad that's over. Now LET'S GET TO THE CONTEST!

A signed hardcover copy of How to Lead a Life of Crime will go to the reader who offers the best (usually defined as the most amusing) response to the following question . . .

If you had to lead a life of crime, what sort of criminal would you choose to be?

Send your response to by 11:59PM (EST), Thursday, January 17th!


grace said...

I received the book you sent me! Thanks so much!

Kat said...

I would be a jewel thief and break into tiffany's, or the tower of London and steal the crown jewels. I would be distinguished by my cat like abilities, and pink streak in my jet black hair. I would always wear high heels, and a black cat suit that I made myself of course!

Daniel said...

I would break into Fox News and rewrite the copy on the teleprompter right before airtime.

ChrisinNY said...

Putting aside pesky things like having enough money and time- I would meander about the USA, and then onto other climes, breaking all those crazy laws that news reporters bring up on slow news days. I am referring to ones like: driving with an uncaged bear- I'd probably picked a stuffed one- or a very, very young one, peeling an orange in a hotel, playing music to get someone into a shop (although with my limited ability I'd probably be driving them away), going whale hunting in Utah, and fishing in pajamas in Illinois. (I would skip the ones like murdering someone while wearing a bullet proof vest- after all, one must have some standards, right?)

Anonymous said...

Forgery. Being able to draw convincing fake cashier's check freehand would be SO COOL.

Robert in San Diego